I think we all know that there is nothing more interesting than dissecting and discussing the names other people choose for their children, especially celebrities! I love laughing at names like Robert Robertson and Dweezil Zappa. I am totally inspired by some name choices of famous people Madonna's, Rocco and Lourdes are two of my favourites.
But what is the naming etiquette when it comes to good friends or family? We all know we aren't supposed to bag out friends name choices, and comments such as 'Oh you can't use Tilly! It is a cat name' or 'My sexist uncle is named Patrick, yuck!' are totally not cool. But what do you say when your friend decides to use your favourite name? Or when you really want to use the same family name as your cousin? Or your girlfriend names her son Nightrider? What are the do's and don'ts of baby name etiquette?
My golden rules for baby names are as follows:
DON'T use the name your best friend has had 'dibs' on since you were both in school. Just because you are having the first baby doesn't mean you get to use the name. If your girlfriend was smart enough at 12 years old to choose a really cool name like 'Bronte' and you stupidly thought 'Madonna' would be pretty fab, then tough luck for you. You don't have to name your child Madonna, but you can't use Bronte -- it is her name! [There is an argument that the second choice name is practically off-limits too. What if she has twins!?]
DO follow the first in best dressed principle, just because your best friend has a list of twenty names doesn't mean they are all off-limits. The first to have a child gets the pick of names. So feel free to use the third or fourth name on your girlfriends list of possibilities if you really love them.
DON'T laugh at your girlfriends name choice. If she wants to name her child Jackson Pillock after the painter then that is her prerogative.
DO gently let your friend know that it is actually Jackson Pollock not Pillock. Friends don't let other friends make really big mistakes like that! :)
DO feel free to use family names, even if your cousin has done it already. Your grandfather's name is fair game for all the great-grandchildren.
DON'T copy your cousin if they haven't chosen a family name. Two little boys named 'Jaguar' in one family is pushing it a bit.
DO copy your cousin if they use the middle name you wanted. Middle names are also fair game!
DO ask politely if people are going to use a nickname for their children. Then be courteous enough to use the name they have chosen.
DON'T invent an ugly nickname for your friends child. If they want to use Drew as the short form of Andrew, then don't insist on calling the child Randy.
DON'T close your mind to the beauty in all names, sometimes the most darling name takes a bit of getting used to!
Tara
Update on Wednesday, August 22, 2007 at 06:56AM by
Tara
A quick follow up for those occasions where you really do like the name your friend has chosen and you want to use it. How do you address this problem?
1. Talk to them about it. Sometimes people are flattered that you admire their name choice and are happy to accept that other people might like to use the same name. This is particularly true of top 10 names!
2. Be gentle. If they react really badly to the idea then don't have a big fight about it and ruin your friendship. From their reaction you will have more of an idea about how big a deal the situation is going to be when your child finally arrives. This can help you decide whether or not it is worth pursuing that name or not?
3. Give them time. If you are very confident that you are going to use a name then allow your friend time to get used to it. Warn them. Giving someone time to come to terms with it before your child is born might make it easier when bubs is born.
4. Think about what it is about the name that you like so much. If you find it really too confronting to potentially ruin a friendship, then why not ask me a question in 'Looking for inspiration', I am sure that together we can come up with a name that is just as great as your friends name but is unique.